Blessing in disguise.

So I've gotten used to work, well, I say got used to but technically I've only been at work for 8 days in total but I actually really like what I do. It's not even about the fact that I'm actually finally a legit doctor or wtv but I actually look forward to going to work everyday and don't mind staying in later just to finish up the jobs or help out some nurses with patient stuffs. 

It's amazing how you never know if you can do something, but once you do it, you can't see yourself doing anything else. And being on the island, to be honest, I wasn't really happy about it when I first found out. In fact, I was devastated. But now, I really think it was a blessing in disguise. God really does work in mysterious ways. 

Found and made some really good close friends, explored the beautiful island on weekends I have off, and also just being in such a lovely hospital working with friendly helpful staff really makes me feel so stupid for thinking that coming to the island was some sort of "punishment" and what not. Well, I'm really enjoying the fact that I don't have to study and feel guilty if I don't anymore. Enjoying the weekends off where I can truly enjoy and go out and be happy and carefree. 

Some pictures from the past few weekends on the island. It's seriously so happening in Summer! Something happens every weekend! Doubt it'll be like this in winter though, but I'll survive. LOL.

At the Shanklin Chine.

Fireworks to mark the end of the annual Cowes Week, one of the world's longest-running regatta.

Second biggest event on the island after Cowes week, the two-day annual Garlic Festival. Turned out so much more fun than I expected!

Garlic pic just because it's a garlic farm! So many types of garlic I never knew existed.

Even managed to try archery for the first time ever. Did quite well for a newbie I'd say :P

Listening to the instructions closely. So close to getting a bullseye!

Country side driving. No wonder so many people in England choose to retire on the island. So beautiful.

In awe of His creation. What a beauty.

So yea, His ways are definitely not my ways. They're so much better. So thankful that I'm on the island now. Sure, there will be ups and downs, but He's brought me this far, He'll continue bringing me further on. Eternally grateful.

xoxo, elvyna.

Future unknown :(

So yesterday was the day that all final year medical students in the UK who are graduating in June-July 2013 found out which deaneries we got placed in for our 2 year job stint after graduating. Deaneries are sort of like "areas" around England, Scotland and Ireland. They allocate our deaneries to us based on our score (50% from academic achievements and 50% from a national test everyone took in January).

Well, I got my first choice (praise God) which is the Wessex deanery down South of England but none of my other friends got it. All of us put that as our first choice but somehow this year it was oversubscribed and the mark requirement was higher than previous years. I really am grateful, don't get me wrong that I managed to achieve that minimal mark requirement but I do feel upset as well since it's going to be pretty hard starting a job with no friends around :(

Even the boyfriend got Scotland for his job application. That's 500miles away from where I will be. And it's going to be a 2 year job post. Sigh. How now brown cow?

Bittersweet feeling, not really sure how to feel since I found out. Just praying and knowing that God has His plans for me, even when I don't know it yet.

xoxo, elvyna.

But when words are not enough, to tell You of our love, Listen to our hearts.

So if You listen to my heart
Every beat would say,
“Thank You for the Life, thank You for the Truth, thank You for the Way.”

So many things to be thankful for. Knowing that He's with me even through the good days and the bad. Especially the bad and lonely ones. I know You're there. I know You see me, and that is enough.

xoxo, elvyna.

First snow.

So today it snowed for the first time in Southampton in about.. 2 years? Was a pretty sight, at least from where I was standing in the warmth of my own room with the heater turned on. Decided to go to the backyard with some friends and attempt to make a snowman. Thus the pic above.

Snow can be very calming. Being alone with snowflakes falling all around me blanketing everything in sight in white was beautiful. In fact, I don't even know how to describe how I felt without feeling like I did justice to it. It's just awesome.

What's not so awesome is the fact that in a few days time, maybe even tomorrow, the snow is gonna melt and turn icy and slippery and people are going to fall over and injure themselves. I might even fall over. Let's hope that doesn't happen.

Oh well. For now, I'll forget the worries of the world, make a cuppa hot tea and sit by the window to watch the snow fall and drown everything in sight with all its glory and be in awe of His creation.

xoxo, elvyna.

Sun shine on down, ease our troubles now.

Sometimes.

A new year can mean a new beginning. If you let it be. If I let it be.

"You're not prepared to fly unless you're prepared to crash." True. Therefore this year, it's time I let go and learn to fly. Because it hurts to crash, but it hurts even more to not try.

Got to stop hoping life would be better, because it already is. Just be thankful for every day that I get to wake up - healthy, alive, breathing. To thank God for every new day, every trial, every hardship, because in the end, I will overcome it, with Him.

xoxo, elvyna.

Pleased.

It turned out to be one of the best Mondays I've ever had in a long long time. 

Got a mini-CEX form signed off by a gastroenterology consultant and his feedback for me is that I'll definitely make it, definitely pass medical school and become a doctor because he said with some people you just know, and I'm one of those people to him. He said I'm way above what he would expect from a medical student in the way I communicate and talk to patients.

Those were the most encouraging and motivational words a consultant has ever told me since I started medical school. And obviously, he gave me really good marks on my examination. After that I went to the Acute Medical Unit (AMU) for a while to try and get some clinical skills signed off before I head home.

The FY1 there was so friendly and nice that he got me to do an Arterial Blood Gas (ABG) for the first time ever, even though I warned him that I haven't done it before in my life. He talked me through it and watched me do it. Amazingly, I was calm and wasn't shaking all over like the first time I ever put a cannula in :/

I hit the bone though when I put the needle in and the patient said it hurt a lot. Ooops. After wiggling it around a little bit more, blood start pulsating into the syringe and I was so relieved and happy! (: The FY1 said I did really well for a first-timer and even asked me to continue taking the patient's bloods to run blood tests on. Did a cannula as well on a lovely old lady who was slightly confused.

Was a very productive day, and to end it, I came home and exercised! Exercising and just getting my sweat on does make me really happy so no matter how tired I am, I try to squeeze it in to my daily routine. Attempted the 1000 rep challenge but only managed max 500. Not too bad for a first timer I guess. It was so intense I was dripping and drenched in sweat once I was done.

Happy days like these make me feel so contented. Thank You God for answering my prayers (:

xoxo, elvyna.

Refuel from God.

This is the last week of my Obs and Gynae placement. Where did time go? 4 weeks, all done come this Friday. It's been such an amazing time in the wards, clinics, theatres, etc. I couldn't have asked for anything more. 

God has been amazing to me this 4 weeks. He gave me a good start to my Final Year, a good house with other Christian housemates that I can pray and do bible study with, good doctors to go under who are willing to teach, friendly people in the wards and so much more..

I'm so grateful for everything.

Spent this evening watching sermons on worship from YouTube. There are so many good sermons available online and it is such a good way to spend my evenings after a long day in the hospital. Just to unwind and wait upon the Lord and pray. Today I listened to such an inspiring talk by Kari Jobe on worship. I would really recommend listening to this.

God teach us to be people who love you and let our worship with you in Your presence be our main priority in life.

John 10:27 " My sheep listens to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."

xoxo, elvyna.

A Day to Remember.

It has been such a long day that I don't even know how to begin writing about it. I just know I have to let it out somehow though. If I had to use one word to describe my day today, it would be this: overwhelming.

Started the day in the Obs & Gynae Labour ward seeing a patient I saw last week in Antenatal clinic. She was opting for a natural vaginal delivery but after a couple of hours, she still wasn't in full labour yet so they had to bring her to theatre for a Caesarian section. It wasn't going to be a complicated delivery and I was allowed to scrub in to assist the surgeon. During the surgery though, the surgeon couldn't get the baby out of the uterus as the mother had pushed earlier and lodged the baby's head in the pelvis. After sending out a neonatal emergency bleep to everyone in the hospital, the theatre started crowding up with Paediatric Consultants, Registrars, SHOs and midwives. After a couple of minutes and pushing and tugging (trust me, this wasn't a pleasant sight at all), the baby finally dislodged and came out but it was pale and floppy and had no heart beat.

At this point I noticed there was a pool of blood dripping from the theatre table through my Crocs and onto the floor. It wasn't like anything I've seen before. I could hear everyone just talking above everyone else. People shouting things like," The baby needs adrenaline injection stat!" or " The baby needs CPR!". It was a seriously scary experience. All the while the mother was awake and aware of what was happening and began to sob uncontrollably. To make the story short, the baby was still not in good shape when the surgeon and I visited it after the operation. I hope and pray that the baby and the parents would be fine.

Then after that, I went back to the wards and stayed with a lady who had a natural vaginal delivery. It was the first time I ever saw a natural birth and I must say, my eyes were welling up with tears and I was trying so hard not to be too emotional throughout. There's really nothing like seeing a baby being born into this world. And the emotions that the parents convey when they look at the baby's face for the first time ever. No words can describe that.

In between all that that was happening today, I had to do my first mini-CEX in Final Year. We have to do 3 mini-CEXs in each placement as part of our assessment in Final Year. This is when a Consultant or Registrar chooses a patient for you and you take a full history and examine the patient whilst the examiner is watching. Also, you've to come up with investigations and management (i.e. treatment of what you think the patient's diagnosis is). It's much more nerve-wrecking than it seems. It went much better than I thought it would though. The consultant was well pleased with what I did and gave me pretty good marks. Good start I would say.

Came home around 8pm after having not eaten anything the whole day (since 7am) because I was so busy that I didn't feel hungry. A friend came over and had a chat and boy, she told a story I would never ever forget. A story about her faith, how she found Jesus, how He changed her life and I was so inspired. It wasn't what I was expecting when she came over but it just happened. Goes to show that when He works, we just cannot comprehend the amazingness that is Him. So blessed. So inspired. So touched. So happy for her that she found Him, that she feels Him, that He is with her. I love hearing testimonies like these, it warms my heart.

All in all, it was such a long and tiring, but exciting day. Overwhelming day. I had to write it out and express it somewhere. This has been such a long post, but it has been a post from the heart. I don't ever want to lose this - to be able to feel things like what I felt today. I hope I don't lose it over time in the future.

God has just been so amazing to me in my life. I'm just so so grateful for everything.

xoxo, elvyna.

Living by Faith.

Firsts.

There are all kinds of firsts. Some good, some bad. First love, first kiss, first heartbreak. First. 

Today was my first official day of my Final Year as a medical student. I could say it was a good day, because to a certain extent, it actually was. It wasn't an intensive day as I'd imagine in my head and neither was it a bad day, the kind that makes you just want to go home and lie in bed all night not doing anything else. 

It was just a terrifying day in the sense that it suddenly hit me - the realization that I'm almost at the end of my five year journey. That I'm left with this last stretch, which would be the longest and most trying year of my medical school journey. 

To become a doctor.

To be honest, that wasn't what I wanted to do on my first day stepping into IMU, but somehow, over the years, it has grown on me. It has grown to be so much a part of me that now, I can't see myself doing anything else but that in the future. 

I need this.

Just one more year to go. I need to work hard, push myself, stay motivated, give it everything I've got, because this is it. What I've been aiming to achieve since the first day of medical school. This is what everyone's been watching me do all these years. It all comes down to the final year. The final exam. The final push. 

Praying that God'll lead me and bring me through this year. Perseverance and faith. Got to keep pressing on, keep holding on no matter what. It's not going to be an easy year, but I have faith I can do it. By His grace and by His strength, not mine.

xoxo, elvyna.

Happy New Year.

2011 was a great year. Sure, there were ups and downs but overall, I'd like to say it was a great year. Okay. Maybe it was just an okay year but you get the drift. Here's to the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012, a new beginning, a clean slate, a new hope for all things beautiful (:

There's so much more for this heart of mine to discover. Praying that He'll lead the way for another fruitful year ahead (:

xoxo, elvyna.