Blessing in disguise.

So I've gotten used to work, well, I say got used to but technically I've only been at work for 8 days in total but I actually really like what I do. It's not even about the fact that I'm actually finally a legit doctor or wtv but I actually look forward to going to work everyday and don't mind staying in later just to finish up the jobs or help out some nurses with patient stuffs. 

It's amazing how you never know if you can do something, but once you do it, you can't see yourself doing anything else. And being on the island, to be honest, I wasn't really happy about it when I first found out. In fact, I was devastated. But now, I really think it was a blessing in disguise. God really does work in mysterious ways. 

Found and made some really good close friends, explored the beautiful island on weekends I have off, and also just being in such a lovely hospital working with friendly helpful staff really makes me feel so stupid for thinking that coming to the island was some sort of "punishment" and what not. Well, I'm really enjoying the fact that I don't have to study and feel guilty if I don't anymore. Enjoying the weekends off where I can truly enjoy and go out and be happy and carefree. 

Some pictures from the past few weekends on the island. It's seriously so happening in Summer! Something happens every weekend! Doubt it'll be like this in winter though, but I'll survive. LOL.

At the Shanklin Chine.

Fireworks to mark the end of the annual Cowes Week, one of the world's longest-running regatta.

Second biggest event on the island after Cowes week, the two-day annual Garlic Festival. Turned out so much more fun than I expected!

Garlic pic just because it's a garlic farm! So many types of garlic I never knew existed.

Even managed to try archery for the first time ever. Did quite well for a newbie I'd say :P

Listening to the instructions closely. So close to getting a bullseye!

Country side driving. No wonder so many people in England choose to retire on the island. So beautiful.

In awe of His creation. What a beauty.

So yea, His ways are definitely not my ways. They're so much better. So thankful that I'm on the island now. Sure, there will be ups and downs, but He's brought me this far, He'll continue bringing me further on. Eternally grateful.

xoxo, elvyna.

Finally a doctor!

So after 6 LOOONGGGG years and all the hard work + money + time, I'm finally a doctor! Woohoo! Can't believe it has finally happened! What I set out to achieve in 2008 has finally come true. Feel so giddy and surreal now thinking that I'm actually officially a legit doctor. Time really flew by all these years. 

Still slowly accepting the fact that I am now going to be responsible for treating people and taking care of them. Hope I don't disappoint! Anyways, it's been a while since I updated, what with the whirlwind of events like graduation and being back home for holidays and stuff so here are a couple of pictures to update whoever still reads my blog! Teehee! :D

Praise the Lord I graduated! Couldn't have done it without His grace and all the prayers from friends and family. Grateful and blessed.

xoxo, elvyna.

Malta; Summer break.

Malta was so much fun especially with the company. Now its back to the reality of Final Year and hospital placements. If only time passed slower on holidays and quicker on placements.

xoxo, elvyna.

Brunei.

Visited Brunei for the first time ever for a week just before I came back to UK. It was definitely an experience and a very 'different' country but I didn't find it as boring as most people were warning me about.

There wasn't much to see there and it took just about 2 days before I saw and visited most places.

Sultan's palace.

Fluffy clouds. It was scorching hot in Brunei though (I got a shorts tan line)

One and only McD's in Brunei.

Beautiful scenery at the Empire Hotel beach.

Us on the carousel at the Jerudong Park amusement park/playground.

Picture perfect shot of the Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddin mosque and the boat.

Sat in air-conditioned places every chance we got.

Kampong Ayer river cruise.

Beautiful sunny day with clear skies. Awesome view of the water villages and schools on water.

Tried the local Bruneian food- Ambuyat (some tree sap thing with a gluey texture).

Hated it. Couldn't even swallow it.

Tried tonkeng (chicken ass) at the night market. Different texture than I'm normally used to but delicious marinade.

New found favourite fast food chain that's only found in Brunei - Jollibee. Awesome spaghetti.

Toy Proboscis monkey to make up for the fact that I didn't see a real one in Brunei.

Goodbye Brunei.

Thanks for having me. It was fun!

xoxo, elvyna.

Breathing in snowflakes.

At the end of a bad day, there's nothing I look forward to than to just get home to the comfort of my bed and wallow in self-pity. Sometimes that's not the case though, as I've learnt.

Take today for example. It was a pretty "meh" day at the labs. A whole day's worth of work wasted when the data analysis machine displayed the most rubbish results ever. So I left for home in a 'not-so-great' mood.

The journey home though, was an interesting one.

1) I met a lovely old man who insisted I took the last seat in the bus but I counter-insisted he did instead. He finally sighed and sat down but was still facing me so we ended up having a conversation about how the weather's so cold and how we thought the bus driver was trying to kill us all with his driving. He even gave me a pat on the back when it was his stop to alight the bus.

2) Winked at a little girl with a pink scooter in the bus and found out she couldn't wink when she started blinking at me intensely instead. Her smile sans her two front teeth only made her all the cuter and made me laugh to myself.

3) I got off at the interchange deciding to walk home instead of letting the bus take me all the way. The cold wind against my face, the little puffs of smoke coming out of my mouth everytime I expired, the sky turning a dusky blue orange with hints of stars behind the clouds. I was just in awe of everything. How it was one of the prettiest things I've seen, how I should be thankful that I'm warm and bundled up although it was so cold, and how, put simply, that I'm breathing and alive.

Suddenly, my day didn't feel as bad as it did when I left the hospital. I guess sometimes it's just about making priorities and looking at things from a different perspective. I must've been so busy lately that somehow I just forgot about all the little things that used to make my day. I mustn't forget, not ever.

Thanks for the reminder God (:

xoxo, elvyna.

Blood donation.

Finally donated blood for the first time in my life after being rejected everytime I tried to in previous years (due to medical reasons). Was a really painless experience and now I know what it feels like to be at the receiving end of the needle instead of usually being the one inserting it into patient's arms. I know many people donate blood all the time and it's the usual thing for them to do but for me, it's not always that I get a chance to do something like this. Feel so proud of myself today, because for once since becoming a medical student, I actually feel like I am THAT much closer to saving a life.

Donate blood at a blood bank if you're fit and healthy! You never know who might need it and who's life you can save! (:

xoxo, elvyna.

Confrontations aren't my forte.

Words cannot express what I'm feeling right now.

The overflowing emotions and thoughts, all scattered in my brain like pieces of a puzzle that have already been poured out but haven't been put together yet. How do I even begin putting the puzzle pieces together? I haven't seen the end product before, I don't know how it'll look like- would it be pretty? or would it be ugly? Do I really want to know what the outcome of it is?

Whoever said: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" obviously had no experience in life. Words DO HURT. ALOT. Especially when they're displayed out there for the whole world to see. It feels as if every single word pierces the flesh like a sharp knife, causing me to bleed away but not enough to die yet. That's how I felt reading it.

I felt so ashamed reading it, somehow trying to get my head around the false accusations you were making about me, but I couldn't understand why you did it. When I was reading it, I was concious that probably about 100 other people may have read it/were reading it/were going to read about it, sneering and laughing away as they realize that I was the one you were talking about.

Tell me, how is it "love" if all it brings you is heartbreak and despair? And how is it fair if it is not reciprocated?

All I know is, you shouldn't have fallen in love with me.

Nothing's ever going to be the same again.

xoxo, elvyna.

When our hearts are far away, Your love goes further still.

Woke up this morning with a sudden realization. Not really a sudden one as some part of me always knew it. It's just sometimes as humans, we forget. But this morning, it was different, it was like an epiphany.

When the storms of life and the winds of change and uncertainty tosses you back and forth, and you find you are losing grip on reality, on life, make Jesus your anchor. Let Him hold you down, on His promises, His grace, His love. Everything. He'll never fail you, He never has and never will.

Then the storm would clear by itself. The clouds and the sun would come rolling in and you no longer feel afraid or uncertain. What's better than knowing that He is holding you in His hands? The safest and warmest place you could ever be.

I guess I can never understand how a God so big and mighty would even care enough for someone as ordinary as me. Well, that's the beauty of His love I guess. Brings me to tears everytime I ponder on how much He has given for me. Even if it was 2000 years ago.

Me. Someone so undeserving of His love, yet He's been so faithful and true throughout my life. Thankful everyday for the life He's given me, the blessings He has poured into my life and praying ever so hard that my life will be a living sacrifice of worship unto Him.

This is my cry. My one desire. Help me Lord.

xoxo, elvyna.