Feelings inside :(

I wonder all those times when you look into my eyes and watch my tears fill up,
Does it break your heart or even crack it a little?
Sometimes I wonder maybe, perhaps maybe to you it never really mattered.

There were times when I tried talking, not knowing what I’m saying.
Afraid, knowing you don’t want me to say anything as it won't make any difference,
But deep inside of me are words waiting to be spoken.
Words, that I still want to say despite my broken heart.

Eventually these words may forever stay in my heart, locked, and put away.
Then again I wonder, are there any words locked in yours too?

I wonder, but again I will never know.
I force a smile only because I know you want me too.
I force a laugh, only so that you think I’ve pulled through.
I pretend to let you go, just so I can see you smile again.

Why am I doing this, I really wonder.

xoxo, elvyna.