Crap.

That's how I feel after a day in the hospital today. I know I'm JUST a medical student, I know I'm at the bottom of the hierarchy and I can't do anything helpful/productive in the wards like the other legit doctors. You think I don't know all that? I do know all that. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't be treated like a human being. You don't just ask a student to "Go away" or shout at them in the presence of patients and parents. That's just unprofessional.

Sigh.

I could go on a rant spree about today and the details but I'd rather not. Praying so hard through the tears right now that God will calm me and forgive them and help them deal with what ever they are going through now that has made them so bitter and mean. Also praying that tomorrow will be a better day.

Chin up.

xoxo, elvyna.

The more I seek You, the more I find You.

I want to sit at Your feet,
Drink from the cup in Your hand,
Lay back against You and breathe,
Feel Your heartbeat.

This love is so deep,
Its more than I can stand,
I melt in Your peace, 
It's overwhelming.

Psalm 9:10 Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You.

xoxo, elvyna.

Overwhelming.

Today has been such an overwhelming kind of day.

Heard the news that grandma slipped and fell coming out of the bathroom. And my brother panicking whilst telling me this wasn't helpful at all. It just made me worry more. The fact that I was in the wards made it even worse, as I couldn't text or call my brother to ask how things were going. I was just getting snippets of things that were happening. "At the doctor's now" "Xray department for scan" "broken bones". These weren't the words I had wanted to ever hear. Especially not in relation to my grandmother.

Everything spiralled downhill from there. I couldn't concentrate on the wards. I teared up thinking bout it. I kept praying and praying that she would be alright. I cried in the toilet. I went home eventually to give grandma a call. Burst into tears when I heard her voice. Long story short, she's fine. She's able to walk still and the doctor has given her some painkillers and bandaged her feet up.

I really hope she'll recover soon. One thing I learnt today though, learning to trust God and trusting that He will take over in a situation in which I was so helpless in really does give me peace. Instead of worrying about what had happened, I surrendered it all to Him and I felt such an overwhelming sense of peace. A peace that filled me all over and I knew at that moment that my grandmother is in His hands.

Overwhelming.

xoxo, elvyna.

Refuel from God.

This is the last week of my Obs and Gynae placement. Where did time go? 4 weeks, all done come this Friday. It's been such an amazing time in the wards, clinics, theatres, etc. I couldn't have asked for anything more. 

God has been amazing to me this 4 weeks. He gave me a good start to my Final Year, a good house with other Christian housemates that I can pray and do bible study with, good doctors to go under who are willing to teach, friendly people in the wards and so much more..

I'm so grateful for everything.

Spent this evening watching sermons on worship from YouTube. There are so many good sermons available online and it is such a good way to spend my evenings after a long day in the hospital. Just to unwind and wait upon the Lord and pray. Today I listened to such an inspiring talk by Kari Jobe on worship. I would really recommend listening to this.

God teach us to be people who love you and let our worship with you in Your presence be our main priority in life.

John 10:27 " My sheep listens to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."

xoxo, elvyna.