Pleased.

It turned out to be one of the best Mondays I've ever had in a long long time. 

Got a mini-CEX form signed off by a gastroenterology consultant and his feedback for me is that I'll definitely make it, definitely pass medical school and become a doctor because he said with some people you just know, and I'm one of those people to him. He said I'm way above what he would expect from a medical student in the way I communicate and talk to patients.

Those were the most encouraging and motivational words a consultant has ever told me since I started medical school. And obviously, he gave me really good marks on my examination. After that I went to the Acute Medical Unit (AMU) for a while to try and get some clinical skills signed off before I head home.

The FY1 there was so friendly and nice that he got me to do an Arterial Blood Gas (ABG) for the first time ever, even though I warned him that I haven't done it before in my life. He talked me through it and watched me do it. Amazingly, I was calm and wasn't shaking all over like the first time I ever put a cannula in :/

I hit the bone though when I put the needle in and the patient said it hurt a lot. Ooops. After wiggling it around a little bit more, blood start pulsating into the syringe and I was so relieved and happy! (: The FY1 said I did really well for a first-timer and even asked me to continue taking the patient's bloods to run blood tests on. Did a cannula as well on a lovely old lady who was slightly confused.

Was a very productive day, and to end it, I came home and exercised! Exercising and just getting my sweat on does make me really happy so no matter how tired I am, I try to squeeze it in to my daily routine. Attempted the 1000 rep challenge but only managed max 500. Not too bad for a first timer I guess. It was so intense I was dripping and drenched in sweat once I was done.

Happy days like these make me feel so contented. Thank You God for answering my prayers (:

xoxo, elvyna.

Plateau.

So today's just one of those days where I'm not feeling all too great about myself. Didn't go in to the hospital for ward rounds today but went in a little bit later to study in the library and left at around 3pm. I just feel like things are becoming so routine now with medicine that I'm not actually enjoying it as much as I know I used to/should. Also, the fact that people (eg. consultants, registrars, etc.) ignore me when I'm in the ward round isn't helping as well.

I know it's supposed to be my own initiative and everything else but omg, seriously? It's not like I haven't been trying to help the team out or do stuffs in the wards. Sigh. rant rant rant.

Medical school, oh how I loathe and love you altogether at the same time. It's truly a mystery I doubt I'll ever solve. But for now, two more weeks until I get to be home!

Looking forward to happier days (:

xoxo, elvyna.

Clean eating lifestyle.

So for those of you who don't already know from my Instagram and stuffs, I've recently (well, not so recently actually) decided to change my lifestyle and eating habits to strive and become a fitter version of myself. And guess what? I'm actually liking it and seeing results!

So I go to (try to) the gym about 4-5 times a week and normally I'll do an hour of weight training/ circuit training and then I'll end with cardio where I just run on the treadmill for a minimum of 5km. And by that time I'll be so drenched in sweat and feeling awesome!

Then I look forward to going home and preparing some kickass healthy, protein-packed meal to replenish what I've lost at the gym. I normally work with the same ingredients but I just try to find different things to prepare them with. 

A meal I love: Avocado (all time fav!) on crackerbread with mozarella and tomato slices and turkey breast chunks + sausages on the side.

Something similar using the same ingredients but its a salad on the bottom.

My dessert/snack whenever I'm craving for anything sweet. Healthy, natural and yum! (:

Hope I'll continue to see more results and burn all the fats away!

xoxo, elvyna.

twenty-three.

Have been really busy with hospital and stuffs and haven't been blogging for a while now. Will try and get back in the business and routine of blogging but for now, just some update with pics from my birthday last week! Had a nice quiet lovely dinner with friends at a Greek restaurant which served amazing food (:

With the store bought cake after failed attempts by Lilian and Albert to bake me something. Still appreciate the thought though (:

Who says you can't be silly at 23? :D

xoxo, elvyna.

Crap.

That's how I feel after a day in the hospital today. I know I'm JUST a medical student, I know I'm at the bottom of the hierarchy and I can't do anything helpful/productive in the wards like the other legit doctors. You think I don't know all that? I do know all that. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't be treated like a human being. You don't just ask a student to "Go away" or shout at them in the presence of patients and parents. That's just unprofessional.

Sigh.

I could go on a rant spree about today and the details but I'd rather not. Praying so hard through the tears right now that God will calm me and forgive them and help them deal with what ever they are going through now that has made them so bitter and mean. Also praying that tomorrow will be a better day.

Chin up.

xoxo, elvyna.

The more I seek You, the more I find You.

I want to sit at Your feet,
Drink from the cup in Your hand,
Lay back against You and breathe,
Feel Your heartbeat.

This love is so deep,
Its more than I can stand,
I melt in Your peace, 
It's overwhelming.

Psalm 9:10 Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You.

xoxo, elvyna.

Overwhelming.

Today has been such an overwhelming kind of day.

Heard the news that grandma slipped and fell coming out of the bathroom. And my brother panicking whilst telling me this wasn't helpful at all. It just made me worry more. The fact that I was in the wards made it even worse, as I couldn't text or call my brother to ask how things were going. I was just getting snippets of things that were happening. "At the doctor's now" "Xray department for scan" "broken bones". These weren't the words I had wanted to ever hear. Especially not in relation to my grandmother.

Everything spiralled downhill from there. I couldn't concentrate on the wards. I teared up thinking bout it. I kept praying and praying that she would be alright. I cried in the toilet. I went home eventually to give grandma a call. Burst into tears when I heard her voice. Long story short, she's fine. She's able to walk still and the doctor has given her some painkillers and bandaged her feet up.

I really hope she'll recover soon. One thing I learnt today though, learning to trust God and trusting that He will take over in a situation in which I was so helpless in really does give me peace. Instead of worrying about what had happened, I surrendered it all to Him and I felt such an overwhelming sense of peace. A peace that filled me all over and I knew at that moment that my grandmother is in His hands.

Overwhelming.

xoxo, elvyna.