Heavy.

Tonight I write with a heavy heart.

How did things end up the way they did? What happened? Can you ever get too used to something/someone? I know it won't always be rainbows and butterflies but its just stormy and shit now. It has been for a while.

I really can't be asked to do anything about it now since exams are just next week. Setting my priorities right.

xoxo, elvyna.

Stress

Exams are in two weeks. Feeling stressed but somehow not as stressed as I should really be. And studying everyday is really getting to my head. Getting agitated easily and pissed off over the smallest things. Sigh. Studying makes me a monster.

Just wish it would all end real soon and I'll be a legit doctor soon. Please help me get through this last hurdle God!

Alright, that was my study break whilst I ate a banana. Bye!

xoxo, elvyna.

What we all want.

But sometimes happiness doesn't come to us, it has to be pursued. But then again, when you do find true happiness, it'll all be worth it.


xoxo, elvyna.

They say..

The more you care, the more you have to lose.

Just one of those days when this resonates with what I feel.

xoxo, elvyna.

Forevermore.

" With my roots deep in You
I will grow the branch that bears the fruit
And though I'm small I still will be standing in the storm
Cause I am planted by the river
By Your streams of living water
And I will grow up strong and beautiful all for Your splendor Lord
For Your splendor, Lord. "

xoxo, elvyna.

Future unknown :(

So yesterday was the day that all final year medical students in the UK who are graduating in June-July 2013 found out which deaneries we got placed in for our 2 year job stint after graduating. Deaneries are sort of like "areas" around England, Scotland and Ireland. They allocate our deaneries to us based on our score (50% from academic achievements and 50% from a national test everyone took in January).

Well, I got my first choice (praise God) which is the Wessex deanery down South of England but none of my other friends got it. All of us put that as our first choice but somehow this year it was oversubscribed and the mark requirement was higher than previous years. I really am grateful, don't get me wrong that I managed to achieve that minimal mark requirement but I do feel upset as well since it's going to be pretty hard starting a job with no friends around :(

Even the boyfriend got Scotland for his job application. That's 500miles away from where I will be. And it's going to be a 2 year job post. Sigh. How now brown cow?

Bittersweet feeling, not really sure how to feel since I found out. Just praying and knowing that God has His plans for me, even when I don't know it yet.

xoxo, elvyna.

Eating clean.

So if people who are reading this don't already know, I've been eating clean (attempting to, but still with a few slip ups along the way) for about 5 months now. It's was hard to begin with initially, suddenly switching from rice and meat (which I have practically grown up eating) to well, protein, fruits and vegetables. The first month was the toughest, with cravings of all my favourite foods coming into my mind at all times, especially when I'm holding a cup of blended spinach and avocado juice :/ 

Eventually though, after educating myself better with the whole eating clean lifestyle, I realized that it doesn't mean I've to totally cut out whatever I used to it, all I had to do was do it in moderation. So I was happy again! Anyways, long story short, it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. That and the decision to exercise and make it a routine instead of a short-term thing.

What inspires and continues to motivate me most is the fact that most of my friends are now resolving to eating clean and exercising more as well and they say it's because of me. It's just a very proud feeling when you get told things like that. And I'm glad to say that I feel really happy to be able to motivate people around me to do things that will benefit them. 

So anyways, I've been experimenting a lot with different sorts of foods and sometimes, when I have the time, I even decorate them nicely to make it presentable and pretty, because to me, pretty food = happy tummy! These are just a few of the things I've been having as of late.

Teddy bears asleep in the forest.

Best smoothie recipe EVER!

Simple but cute peanut butter toast (:

Experimental smoothie that turned out DELICIOUS!

Alright then, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll be able to continue sustaining this lifestyle because honestly, I think the food cravings have now gone and I look forward to my clean meals every day. I also have cheat meals on the weekends to help balance things out! After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, right?

xoxo, elvyna.