there is no guarantee, that this life is easy.

Everything keeps replaying again and again in my head. Each time I think about it, it hurts. I want to be emotionless again. Like how it was the past few months. I feel so fragile, so vulnerable again. I don't like this. I'm doing the one thing I know how to do and the one thing that makes me stop thinking. STUDY. sigh. Who knew I'd have to resort to this?

Damn freaking emo la today. arrrggghhh! I just want to scream!

Dad's angry at me (with a valid reason also I don't blame him), mum'll be angry soon I think, and grandma's disappointed in me. I can't stand letting down people around me. It's so unintentional :( :( I'm so sorry. It's my fault. It always is.

I want this to STOP.

xoxo, elvyna.