Remembering the good, leaving the bad.

It isn't easy to have made the decision I just did, but it was really something I had to do. What's the point in holding a grudge and putting blames? What's done is done and if I just wiped away the tears and looked at it from a different perspective not surrounded by my own dark cloud of sadness, it really does seem to make sense. The bigger picture is really easier to see when I pray about it. Prayed for wisdom to see how this whole thing could make any sense and tonight, I see.

I guess despite it all, I've really grown so much, to be independent (in a way), to stand on my own two feet, to love without expectations. And honestly, I've gotten stronger. More than I can imagine. But now, I know it's okay to have loved and lost, it's okay to have your heart broken when things don't work out, cause there's always a silver lining. What's life if you hold back? Live it to the fullest. It's really true. Feel everything you've got to feel. I've learned so much and I'm so grateful and thankful. There isn't any resentment, really. There never was.

So for now, I need to shoo the emoness away, and take it one step at a time, or as my best friend puts it, take babysteps. Little by little, I'll be able to let go. It'll be hard, but that's life, there are ups and downs. I just gotta learn to accept them both and make the best out of every situation I may be in. Suddenly, I really am convinced that I'm all grown up, matured in a way I never thought I would be.

I thank God for being with me through it all. If it wasn't for Him, I'll be in a really bad state. Prayers really do work miracles and to know that someone actually understands me inside out, that alone can bring me through so much.

And I just wish that as the dust settles, things will be back to the way it used to be way before. It's too precious and dear to my heart for me to lose. I'll always love you, but like I said, a different kinda love (:

xoxo, elvyna.