My new spongebob light-up pen is WAYYY cool (:

A belated Valentine's present from sweetheart (: cool tshirt eh?

xoxo, elvyna.

Nothing's really making any sense at all, let's talk.

" Love is purest when it is unfettered by chains of expectations"

Love someone for who they are, not who you want them to be. There is no superficial law of reciprocation that some people pass off as love. To love others means to free them from our unreasonable expectations that they should be or think a certain way.

I don't like it when people say they accept and love me for who I am, and then later on tell me, "Oh, I wish you were like *insert name* and I hope you aren't so *insert attitude*. " I really don't like it. Sure, everyone has positive and negative traits but love doesn't mean you got to wear blinders- it just means you honestly take the good with the bad.

xoxo, elvyna.

Cause everybody knows that nobody really knows, how to make it work or how to ease the hurt.

And I put up a strong front in front of him,
I don't want him to see me cry, to see my tears,
I don't want him to worry and feel sad.
I don't want him to leave with that last image of me before he leaves in a few hours.

But now, tonight, with so much clarity,
I crumble and I break down.

But not because I'm tired of saying goodbyes,
Not because I want things to be different.
I can only wish for it to be different,
But I'm grateful for everything that has happened.

It's just that I'll miss him so much and the thought of not being able to be with him just hurts me to the core :(

"It'll make us stronger," he says.

It sure will adorable, it sure will. I have faith in us.

xoxo, elvyna.

Words cannot describe.

For someone who has never really liked surprises, I'm beginning to love them from you (:

xoxo, elvyna.

Family reunion. I love!

Mum and Dad.
Cousins and Grandma. (yes, I'm the oldest) :/

xoxo, elvyna.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time.

Random post today:

- First things first, this is probably my last post till after CNY so HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR to those who read my rather boring blog. Thanks. Haha. Have a safe trip back to your hometowns wherever you guys are from and enjoy the holidays man. Hope ya'll get loads of ang paus but more importantly, spend quality time with the family and relatives.

- So all I bought for this CNY is just like 10% of what I would normally buy in previous years. I don't know why. Maybe it's cos I started shopping like yesterday? Last minute right? haha. But anyways, I love what I bought. My Topshop dress rocks and I can't wait to wear it (: lalalala.

- I miss Nick, alot :( Poor guy has been feeling like crap and falling sick. Hope he'll rest more and get well soon. And next week's CNY already :/

- Since I have a DSLR, I feel like getting a Polaroid. It's so cool to be able to see the pics you take there and then but they don't sell it anymore. Anyone know where I can get one? That, or maybe a LomoCam. *sigh* so hard to please huh me?

- My uncle and family from Sabah are gonna be down for CNY! They're staying at grandma's place here for bout a week. Can't wait to see me cousins (: Haven't seen them in 2 years, they will be big by now! Gilbert and Lilian! eeks! I love kids, especially when they're blood-related to me! (yes, biased I am) ♥ And I can't wait for reunion dinner too. Yee Sang! (:

- I just realized I've never "celebrated" (if that's even the word for it) Valentine's day before in my life! Haha. Guess this year the tradition continues.. Haha.

- I'm addicted to house music ever since my brother burnt me a CD and left it in my car. It's so awesome how come I've never appreciated it before?! Never too late I say. Loving the bass and beats (: Makes my head bop to the beat. No wonder recently when I'm driving people in neighbouring cars tend to stare. Oh well, I don't care :P

That's all for random posts. Teehee :D

xoxo, elvyna.

Smiled amidst everything cos' grandma smiled (:

Quote from Aaron which just left me dumbfounded:

"When life knocks you down on your knees, remember it's the perfect position to pray."

Aaron, the 15 year old boy came up with that. WOW.

xoxo, elvyna.

My baby's injured and not sexy anymore :(

Sometimes bad things happen. And sometimes it may not even be your fault, but who's to say when bad things happen? It just well, happens. So yea. Got into my most major accident yesterday. This uncle driving a Nissan Sunny banged the left front of my car and i saw my whole bumper tear off in front of my eyes :( It was really scary.

Then the whole drama ensued and he didn't want to pay. So I dragged him to the police station with me. Waited two hours just to get my report taken down :/ wasted my time. Then today had to go to the HQ in KL to collect the printed report. Waited a while more for that. Went home to search for the insurance policy thing. Dad didn't tell me what I needed to prepare. I really have no idea how to deal with insurance claims and all. Would certainly help if my parents actually cared. That's what happens when you don't live with them I guess. They care less/not at all. Sucks to do it all alone. sigh. Feels scari-er. Thank God for grandmas.

And then to Toyota just now to try to get my car fixed but if I leave it there now they'll only start work after CNY. So no point, the guy just temporarily stuck the bumper back. I'll send my car there after CNY, which just happens to be when I start uni. How to go to school? Cycle? It would certainly help in my lose-weight programme but I'll probably die from air pollution. That or I'll more likely end up as road kill o_O *sigh*

The inconvenience, everything. And it's not my fault :( Sometimes, it just happens.

My bumper which i had to forcefully push back in so it'll stop slipping off and dropping. The whole thing is loose. Slides off when I drive so half way I gotta push it back in. Scary right? Today whilst I was driving back from KL, it slipped off and kinda dangled.

Thank God nothing happened to me throughout this whole ordeal. I'm glad I'm alive and in one piece.

xoxo, elvyna.

Practise makes perfect, I hope (:

Attended my first photoshoot today with bro and Aaron. Photoshoots are these practise sessions for us three to learn different skills and techniques in taking different pictures. So it's once a week and there's a theme each time. I came up with the theme for this week - Bubbles! Enjoy the pics!
(oh, and I've changed my blog layout and all so the pics would be larger. Hope it increases your viewing pleasure! )
Silly bro never fails to make me laugh. He's shampooing in my garden. LOL!
Aaron.
Trying to keep my chinese eyes open! -__-

Kinda like the background blurred effect.
Things that happen in a photoshoot.



above and below: camwhore shots with my SLR! (this would come in handy(: )
xoxo, elvyna.

EEeeeeeks!!

OMG. So I see lotsa ppl stumble upon my blog via google on my NewsFeed, so I was curious and decided to type my name : Elvyna and google it. Then the first link I see is my blog, then my twitter. I'm not the only Elvyna in the world right???

I feel so.... EXPOSED! 0_O

xoxo, elvyna.

The birds congregate and sing, a song, of change.

Some people have asked me why my blog posts are really emo and sad. It got me thinking. Like really thinking. I never thought about it, I mean, I just write whatever I want and whatever I feel. Does that mean I'm like a depressed person or something like that?:/

I don't know. I can never be one of those bloggers who write about their love, their families, their lives and how everything is so perfect. I'm not saying its bad to write bout' those things, don't get me wrong, but I just somehow feel that life isn't that perfect, well, at least not like the way some people describe it until. I wish I could write like that. I wish my life was that 'perfect', or at least half of what 'perfect' is. But after the events that took place today, I'm grateful for my life, I'm grateful for what it's made me, I'm grateful for just, everything.

Because today I learnt that sometimes, you can find perfection in imperfections too.
Because today I finally found an answer.

Words you read after this may be a little too honest, but I just feel like pouring it all out.

For the longest time ever, I've been bitter and angry. Bout' what, I really don't know. It comes, on and off. I really questioned God and His plans for me, if they were really what was best for me, if His plans were really going to benefit me. And I was angry, at myself, and probably, at God. I hated myself for feeling this way. I knew it wasn't right but as many times as I've told myself to stop feeling this way, the feeling still stayed. I thought many a times before that God was letting go of me, losing hope, losing faith, but after today, I realized that all those times I thought that, it was actually I who was letting go of Him, losing hope and losing faith. He never once let me go. He was holding on so tightly, but I was losing grip. I was slipping.

All that became clear to me today and I am eternally grateful for that. You see, I'm on holidays now so I don't need to go back to uni unless I've got Community medicine classes or lab sessions, etc. So to go back just for CF is quite a hassle for me actually, to drive all the way there and then back. Sometimes, I get lazy too, which I'm not really proud of. But because a friend asked me to worship lead for CF this week, I was obliged to go. And I'm mighty glad I did. It could've just been another CF, another week, another inspiring sermon/activity that'll get me all hyped up for the moment but the kind of hype that just dissipates once I reach home.

But this week it was different. It's people like Sabrina who continues to inspire me in my life and my walk with God. I'm so glad that I've come to known her. Thank you God for letting me meet such a beautiful lady inside out. Today's topic was "A Father's Heart" and Sabrina who was the person-in-charge showed a screening of a sermon by a pastor. And then the pastor showed a video which I've attached here. It's about a crippled son who wants to join a triathlon and asks his father to join it with him. Here you see how much the father loves his son. I was really touched by it, the sermon and the video and the message it contained. Just one simple truth - that the Father's love is unconditional. (definition of unconditional : absolute, complete)



It's so easy to forget sometimes of His love.

At times we think He has abandoned us, that we're left alone in this cold, cold world. But I guess those are the times we forget that His love is unconditional, it knows no boundaries. It feels nice knowing that already. I feel precious right now. To Him. And that's all that matters.

Sabrina also reminded me that He looks at the heart. People may look from the outside and all but He looks at our heart, at my heart. And what can He see from my heart? There may be scars, there may be hurt, but those are all just a part of growing up and lessons learnt. He'll still take my heart anyday and his unquavering love for me will remain.

A little prayer said in the car whilst it was raining so heavily and I was stuck in a jam on the way back from uni really made it all the more clearer to me.

Nothing else in the world matters but Him.
It's amazing what a wonderful and awesome God I have (:

I hope this inspires those who read it.

xoxo, elvyna.

Banana Muffins.

Decided to bake today when it was raining and I couldn't go jogging.

Mashed bananas.
Melted butter.
Mixing the butter, mashed bananas and flour.

Lined up on the tray.
Finished product.

xoxo, elvyna.

Just the way it is.

Went to SPCA today with bro. The dogs there are just so awesome! I wanna adopt ALL! but.. *sigh* Anyways, here are some pics of the dogs. Interested in adopting or volunteering?

Visit them here.










That's all. It was fun hanging out with dogs for a change. They're really affectionate and can really be entertaining. (read: biting and chewing and jumping on you)

xoxo, elvyna.

I got you.

Decided to SCARE all my readers with a picture of my scraped ankle (yes, I am THAT bored).

It may be small but it hurts so bad. And look! It's oozing pus! yay. NOT! Damn pain lo especially when I jog or bathe and the soap goes over it. Then me being so clumsy I always end up further aggravating it and injuring it by accident. How's it gonna heal properly then? :( I hope it doesn't leave a scar or any dark discolouration after it heals :(

Faster heal please?

xoxo, elvyna.

A wookiecookie is stuck to my teeth, help!

So in my last post I said I found a cool baking website, I tried one of their recipes which seemed quite interesting. It was called the Wookie Cookie, named after Chewbacca from Star Wars. Cool right? That's what caught my attention to attempt to make it. So yea, I made WookieCookies! They're really chewy and yummy! (: So the following pictures are sorta like behind-the-scenes/the-making-of the cookies. Enjoy the pics! It's taken by my SLR. I need lots more practise I know (:

*Click on pics to enlarge*
Dry ingredient: Sifting the 2 1/4 cups of flour. I almost always end up getting flour on myself, don't ask me why, i don't know :/
Wet ingredient: The butter, brown sugar and granulated sugar beaten up by the mixer. what a pretty sight (: ( i still dream of getting a Kitchen Aid mixer,sigh, then this step would be so easy)
Adding the yummy stuffs! Added one cuppa Hershey's milk chocolate chips and one cuppa semi-sweet chocolate chips. Read: OVERLOAD on choc chips! me likes (:

And after mixing dry+wet+Hershey's choc chips together,

It was time to BLOB the dough in tiny balls on the tray lined with grease paper. I always imagine I'm creating some sorta army at this part. I'll aligned them nicely and make sure its straight.Weird, I know but it's just a habit i guess :S
Look at the choc chips peeking out of the dough! It's like they're trying to escape! or.........maybe not :/

After putting it into the oven for 15 mins, the kitchen smelt of freshly baked cookies and TADAAAH!

SUPER DUPER chewy chocolatey yummy cookies! (: Made me smell like cookies too. I smell yummy! (lol, so perasan!) But I do! ;)

xoxo, elvyna.