adorable.

You make me smile, from the inside out.
I'm just happy I've got you (:
I hope you feel the same.

xoxo, elvyna.

Just because You've been so amazing in my life..

Thank you God for my Summative 4 results. Once again, I couldn't have done it without You.

Next up: End of Semester 5 exams. I'll need lotsa prayers for this one.

Always remember: God provides.

xoxo, elvyna.

Je t'aime.

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

-Captain Corelli's Mandolin-

and i can't hold back no more.

You know how it scares you sometimes to think about your future? As in what you are going to be, what lies ahead, how you will get there, and who's going to be in it? Well, today, all these thoughts came into my head. I would probably blame grandma for that. You see, we talked today. She was asking me when exactly am I leaving overseas next year to further my studies. Then I answered and all. Then she was saying she'd miss me. She was also saying she hoped to attend my graduation. And I guess, at that moment, I just broke.

I tried so hard to hold back the tears. And I did. But when I was alone, I just couldn't hold it in anymore. Then I started thinking. Alot. Too much for my own good. Then I tried to remember a time in my life which didn't involve her, nothing came up. And I realized, she's the most important person I've got in my life. The only person I've spent the last 20 years of my life fully with. People come and go in my life-childhood friends, relatives.. but she's a constant.

You know when I was much younger, I used to think all I need to stay happy in this world was my grandma, and probably my brother. And I used to think I'll have her with me for the rest of my life. I secretly hope this is true. But sad enough, life happens. So through the years, we've been through thick and thin, she has always been there for me, no matter what happens, letting me sleep on her bed, crying if someone hurt me, comforting me and telling me it's all gonna be alright cos I have her and she'll always be on my side. She has been both a mother and father to me, and maybe, even more. I've never felt more secure in my life than when I'm in her embrace.

When she told me today she hoped she lived long enough for my graduation, that's when I took notice- took notice of how she's aged since I was a little girl, took notice of how her stature has changed, the way she walks slower than she used to. And I got scared, really scared. Then I started reflecting and thinking back on all those times I spent with her. And all those memories I hold so dear. I just. want her to see me get married, to see my kids.. omg. i dont know what has gotten into me.

Just talked to her. She said all these parting is a part of life. It's inevitable. She says she'll miss me even more than I miss her when I leave next year. How not to cry? :( She says all she can do is pray for me, and hope that I'll be okay. Asked me to focus on studies, don't worry bout her. I dont know what else to say. My emotions are taking over now.

I know I should appreciate the present, the times I have left with her before I leave, but just for tonight, I want to think about my future. And I know no matter what, in the end, I'll meet her in heaven, but I don't think I'll ever be ready for her leaving me. Not at all. Somehow, I know only God can help me. I just need to have faith :(

xoxo, elvyna.

Never alone, I'll be in every beat of your heart.

Emo emo day :(

Although it became better cos' I went for tea with the BFF who's back from Singapore.

One other thing, it'll really suck if you come back later :(

xoxo, elvyna.

For the way you're something I'd never choose, But at the same time something I don't want to lose.

Watched Disney's Princess and the Frog today with Lilian. We were technically the first people to watch it since it came out today and we watched the first show at 11.45am. Early right? lol. Anyways, the cinema was pretty packed also. Blame school holidays -_- Anyways, the movie was so cute. I wouldn't say it's very exciting and all but I guess maybe I was expecting quite a bit. It was pretty entertaining though (:


Disney's first African American princess movie, did well, I must say. Well, this is just my personal opinion. Starts of typical, Prince Naveen gets himself changed into a frog, and the only way to break the spell is to kiss a princess. He sees Tiana and asks her to kiss him, and under certain circumstances, she does. But what happens then? She becomes a frog too! (albeit a pretty frog I must say) So begins their adventure together to turn back into humans. The ending's a bit clichéd, but I guess all Disney movies have to have happy endings. Not complaining though (: The adventure part was nice. Oh and watch out for Charlotte too, she's so hyper she's freaky that way. haha. Lilian I were like laughing at her antics the whole time! But she's a nice person.

Oh, and P/S# The antagonist in the movie, the Shadow man, is actually pretty scary. Like no kidding, he IS scary kind. Was kinda freaked Disney would have such an evil side to it. Or maybe I get scared easily :/

Anyhows, a good movie, should just watch it to be entertained. And listen to the soundtrack- it's pretty good. I'm currently addicted to the ending credit song by Ne-Yo - Never Knew I Needed. So good!! I might just buy download the soundtrack (: Hehe.

Who knew frogs could be so adorable? ;)
*You wanna be my frog?* :D

xoxo, elvyna.

If you light a match, you're bound to feel the flame.

And so my favourite season of the year is just around the corner (:
So darn EXCITED! (:
When I think Christmas, I think cinammon scented gingerbread man, Christmas lights, trees, decorations, presents, Christmas carols, snow (though we don't have it here), etc..

I don't know why it's my favourite holiday of the year but everytime Christmas draws near, a warm tingly feeling occurs in me. I feel comfortable, I feel at peace.

Took me many years to realize why. But I'm grateful anyhow. It's not just another holiday, another festive celebration, another time to get presents (though i'm not complaining), but it's also the day our Saviour was born over 2,000 years ago! (: Twas' the day that changed everything and made creation and everything else fall perfectly in place. Twas' the day we were given a chance at salvation with the birth of baby Jesus (:

So let's take time this Christmas to ponder on the true meaning of Christmas. After all's been said and done, let's have fun and enjoy the holidays too! (: HOHOHO. omg, damn lame :D
Self shot pic on a christmas bauble in IMU. yes, I have nothing else better to do! (:

xoxo, elvyna.

The space between my fingers are where yours fit perfectly (:

Just finished decorating my SUPER chocolate cupcakes (ok, I don't know what it's called but its DAMN chocolatey!). The cupcake is chocolate, there's a chocolate filling in it, and the frosting's chocolate too! haha. Overdose on chocolate much? :D First time making this flavour and first time making something with a filling! haha. Hope it's yummy, i havent tried it yet. It's a bit late for a cupcake right now. Gave one to bro though and he said its nice, but then again, don't think I can really take his word for it. haha.

Ooo, and I love the cupcake box I bought from the baking supplies shop. So cool it can hold the cupcake in place. Now I won't have cupcakes falling all over the place when I'm transporting them. Happy! (:

Darn tired now. Better sleep since I've got selectives tmr.

hmm.. What should I bake next? (:

xoxo, elvyna.

Didn't they always say we were the lucky ones?

Hmm. I just feel like talking about relationships today. I dont know why. I feel like everyone's got their own point of views about relationships but which is the "right" view? or wait, is there even a "right" view? I honestly don't know.

I've always liked the dating part when it comes to relationships. The part where boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy tries to impress girl and boy really cares and takes notice of every little thing that the girl likes/dislikes. Those are probably the sweetest times. Boy wants to please the girl in everything he does so she'll accept him.

Then the girl accepts boy and they get together. Things are still pretty much the same in the beginning, both are still madly in love, still in the "high" of being together. Then out of nowhere, without anyone expecting, things take a turn. Boy and girl starts showing their true colours. Girl gets jealous of little things the boy does, boy doesn't say I love you that much anymore, girl takes it the wrong way, gets angry, boy.......etc etc.

Then it's all about just getting through each day without fighting or just one day without saying a mean thing to one another. Both have to force themselves to give in or tolerate the other. What happened to forever and ever and happily ever after? It's like they're in a relationship without being in a relationship. What does it really mean to be in a relationship? Just the status? Or to be able to do couple-y stuffs?

I think there's always a limit once you're with someone. It doesn't mean you have to stop your old ways of whatever you like doing but maybe just tone it down a bit, as a sign of respect to your other half. Being in a relationship should NEVER weigh you down, make you cry yourself to sleep every night or make you feel bad about yourself. If it does, it's not worth it. Really. You deserve much better.

So back to the question, what does it really take to be in a relationship? Go figure.

xoxo, elvyna.

P/s: I don't even know if half the things I say here even makes sense. oh wells 0_O

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, as long as i'm laughing with you.

Exams are over! (well, they were over last week but my internet was is down so I'm blogging from IMU's computer). Anyways, it was pretty okay I think, after i went to the feedback session- can pass la :/

Today's the Christmas party thing organized by Christian Fellowship and Catholic Society. Had the lunch on in the Atrium which ended at 2. Been busy doing decorations for the atrium the past 2-3 days since Jeremy kinda "volunteered" me to be in charge for deco. The end result was quite pretty I must say, and I'm so proud of all those who helped me, and grateful too. The next part of the event is later on tonight at 7.00pm. It's gonna be even more awesome than the day one cos' there's drama by the semester 1's and dance and all. Can't wait!!!

So I'm having my selectives now. Chose Community Medicine, I don't know why. It has to be the most boring thing on earth !! :/ Should've chosen like Greek Mythology thingy or Literature. Anyways, too late to regret, better make the best of it. Btw, class is at 8-10.15 am EVERYDAY :( Meaning I've gots to wake at 6.30am :( Meaning I can't sleep at 3-4am anymore or else i'd die (x_x)

Gonna be busy starting this weekend, filled with practises for Christmas drama in church. Saturday from 11-2pm and Sunday from 2-5pm :/ Can die from overpractising. Oh wells, I'm not really complaining, kinda like it (: I like my song. Hope I wont get a sore throat or something come that day.

On another note, I'm completely absoultely going insane, i think. Exams're over but I have nothing to do so I'm studying again :/ Actually I think its kinda good to start studying now since my End of Semester exam for Sem5 is in like~6 months. Not much time for 9 systems I must say :S Oh oh! And I'm also like addicted to Michael Buble's new album, and also OwlCity (although almost all the songs sound the same-I still can't differentiate it but yea, it's just nice to listen to). Paramore's new album is damn nice too (: I always think Hayley Williams rock (:

OK. I think I should stop. I'm writing so much. Its been a while since I had such a lengthy wordy post with no pictures. argh! I should start my jogging plan now before christmas comes and then there's no turning back. Help. *gulps*

I wanna dye my hair/straighten and also go shopping! ok. lol. bye.

xoxo, elvyna.

Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more, Maybe it's just my imagination.

Got a really encouraging email today. Thanks, you know who you are (: Wouldn't have made it through without you always by my side through the years. Hugs.

I wish I wasn't so weak.
I wish I wouldn't always faint for no reason.
I wish I wouldn't make grandma worry :(
I wish I can still end up becoming a doctor despite it all.....

xoxo, elvyna.

Let it rain down and wash everything away,maybe tomorrow the sun will shine.

Hey Blog ( i should name you),

Long time no talk. I'm really bored right now. And I know I should be studying. I really want to study but nothing I read seems to be going in my head :( It' so depressing you know? And the stress is making me sick to the core. I hate this feeling. Exam's next Thursday. Do you think I can pass the exam? My PMS matching depends on this exam. I can't afford to screw up, which is why I'm even more stressed :/ I don't know if you know what I'm saying. I just need to rant. Blog blog blog.

If only you could reply me. DAMN. My brain's gone seeing how i expect my blog to reply me (o_O)

ARGH! I want a SUPER brain! capacity= unlimited! if only..

I miss my best friend in UK! :( Felt the rush of nostalgia when I talked to her last week. I miss her! :( Exam stress, go away! I don't like how you're screwing with how I'm feeling :( :(

xoxo, elvyna.

And when you left, you kissed my lips. I never want to see you unhappy.

Just had Rakuzen for the first time today. It's pretty nice actually (: Love the soft shell crab maki though I would prefer if it was more bite-size like at Zanmai's. Tried fish also for the first time :/ salmon (RAW ok?!) and some other weird cooked fish. The bf la, made forced me to try some -_- Took a teeny bite then gave it back to him. ew. Now I remember why I don't eat fish. It's just disgusting :S

I'm happy! Maybe it's the present, or maybe, it's just you. Such an unexpected surprise! heh.

One more month baby (:

xoxo, elvyna.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity.

Summatives are on the 26th of November. This week's the first week for renal system, and also the first week I'm starting to study. A bit late right? Sigh. Dunno why but I just don't have any motivation at all to study this semester compared to previous ones. Is it because it's not an EOS? or because I've been too involved in extra-curricular stuffs? I don't know, but whatever it is, I better start speeding up and studying right if I want to do well.

3 weeks left, 3 systems more, am i game for it?
God PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me :(

And I don't know why but it's still bugging me that my parents forgot my birthday :( *sigh* should just let go and move on :( but it keeps staying in my head. arrgh. I'm focusing waay too much on this. damn unhealthy.

Here I am, and i stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.

xoxo, elvyna.

You loved me cause I'm fragile when I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strength is gone.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Psalm 9:9
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

Isaiah 53:4-5
Surely he has borne our infirmities and carried our diseases; yet we accounted him stricken, struck down by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the punishment that made us whole, and by his bruises we are whole.

I'll be praying for her. It hurts me to see you hurt :(

xoxo, elvyna.

And we know it's never simple, never easy.

Happy 18th Birthday Bro! Hope you had a great one! (:

Hugs hugs hugs, kiss kiss kiss! You're my favourite-st bro ever ! that's cos' you're my only bro.lol.

xoxo, elvyna.

when i close my eyes, you drift away. i think of you and everything's ok. i'm finally now believing.

I've finally turned 20! no more teenage years! I don't feel much of a difference though. Oh wells, thanks to everyone who wished me and gave me hugs and gave me surprises and presents. I'm really grateful to have friends like all of you who care so much! Love u all! (:

xoxo, elvyna.

So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you.

I think there's something wrong with me. I don't know how to appreciate things that are right here in front of me. Instead, I either look at the past or too far ahead. Why do I never learn? If I keep focusing on those things, I'll lose hold of the present. And I don't want to lose hold of the present.

Elvyna, get a grip.

I can't be feeling this way everytime something comes up or when something happens. I hate myself for feeling this way. It really sucks. Holding it all inside. I need an intervention. Better yet, a revelation. Its been so long, why's it back now to haunt me? why now?

Some memories, no matter how much you hold on to it, NEEDS to be erased. If only I could, I would. I really would. There's only so much I can take. I don't want to break down everything I've tried so hard to build up. I don't want to relive everything again.

i need help.

xoxo, elvyna.

HAVOC!!

So these are the pictures from cheerleading and Wen's Birthday dinner:


with mei xin and sam.
stacie.
Jonathan the CHEERLEADER.
With Kor Woi- the guys in Hydra had to use pom poms too :/With my brother - Mark!!!
Meixin, wen, joshua, yawshing, me!
Draco-ians!
HAHA. there's a story behind this pic.
Mark, me, MeiXin, Boons!

With Lilian- she got gold! Proud of her(:
Crazy girl i met during cheer who always whacks my ass -Felicia.
Shoulder sitting Jade. My backs stronger now cos of this (:
Goodest friend- Jien.
Manlo piggy backing me! (:
Wen shoulder sitting Meixin.
MEDT 108.Miss cheer under WeiChin :( She got 2nd. Happy for her! (:
Family loves camwhoring when I'm driving. SO NOT SAFE :/
With sweet<3 Amanda.
Prawn Aglio Olio.
Stacie, Jo Ann, Xiao Wen, Elvyna.

Chee Leong, Lilian (fine fine, steek)


Jon & JoAnn.

Nostalgic pic!

So yea, Xiaowen's gone, life continues :( Studies! :(

xoxo, elvyna.

You've got a smile a smile that could light up this whole town.

And then its one more day away.

Xiao Wen's coming down and staying over at my place. This is too exciting! (:

xoxo, elvyna.

P/s# and this song, Running by No Doubt is describing exactly how I feel that it's replaying on my playlist for the 65764382765th time!

Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
Im the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
Im so sorry that Im falling
Help me up lets keep on running
Dont let me fall out of love

Chorus:
Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it
(do you think well make it? )
We're running
Keep holding my hand
Its so we dont get separated

Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Dont stop inspiring me
Sometimes its hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Dont make me want to give up

October's HERE ppl!!

Hellos. been like what? 13 days since I last wrote here? this is unacceptable. But i've been so busy with cheerleading its amazing if i can even walk once i'm home. Haha. okay, so maybe I exaggerate a little (:

Anyways, cheer competition is this Friday in IMU, running alongside closing ceremony for IMU cup. Wow. Time does fly. All the sports and training sessions are finally coming to an end. Weee. Time to finally rest after this Friday and start studying! I wish I had like superpowers or something so I won't feel so sore after every cheer practise and end up slathering my whole back with deep heat rub + salonplas strips :/ At least it makes the pain go away while it lasts. New place that hurts today- my THIGHS! gotta rub deep heat cream there soon too.

And I dont know what's wrong but I keep forgetting to eat when I've got cheer pract (note: everyday) so yea. Finally got terrible bout of gastric on Saturday night after almost 6 hours of intensive cheer practise. Vomited bile and started crying. Damn disgusting the feeling. Gotta remember to eat!!!!!!!

I better go now. Just had dinner and showered after I got home from cheerleading. Gotta rush and do PBL for tomorrow also since I gotta buy pompoms in the morning. So many things to do, so little time :(

I pray God'll give me the strength to carry on.

Oh, and to all my dental friends, study hard for your exams! Gambateh and jiayou! (:

xoxo, elvyna.

donut drool! :D

Quick update:
Fish biscuits I'm currently addicted to.
Plants vs zombies! damn fun (: haha.
Cutest zombies EVER! (:

P/s# heard there was an earthquake that hit samoa islands region and tremors could be felt in m'sia. i didnt feel anything though :s but i do hope everyone's ok!

xoxo, elvyna.