I suck at decision making :(

So today I went to see the BMedSc supervisor I contacted to discuss her project and see if I could do it for my year 4 research. She explained everything to me regarding her project- novel immunotherapy treatment for neuroblastoma. She went on talking about T-cell mediated response and tumour cell antigen stuffs and normally, I wouldn't really understand but thank God I decided to read up a day before meeting her. So she was pretty impressed that I understood what she was saying.

Anyways, I wouldn't want to bore all you guys by explaining the whole concept of the project here since it's all medical terms and stuff, but the gist of it is, it's gonna be purely lab work. Which is what I didn't want as my project. Let me explain: the thing with lab work is that you've got to harvest cell cultures, and when those cell cultures are not grown in optimum conditions, i.e. temperature, solution, nutrients, it dies. And when it dies, you got to start from square one again. Which means it would be a waste of time if that happens. I mean, I'd be lucky if they don't die and then I can carry out the project but she did say that it's not going to be easy and the cells die pretty easily. Neuroblastoma cells anyway :/

So the supervisor was really nice, she asked me to think about it, whether I really wanted to choose this project as my 4th year project because its gonna be 22 weeks long and well, I won't be happy doing something I'm not comfortable doing. BUT thing is, I've wanted to do paediatric oncology for the longest time ever and this is well, sorta like the best opportunity I have to do it.

I really don't know. I have approximately a week and a half to think about it. Maybe it's time not to worry about what I think is best for me, but be still, pray about it and ask God what is it He wants me to do. It's so scary not knowing what the future holds really.

aahh! why do i have to be so human? I got to have faith. I GOT TO.

xoxo, elvyna.