Because my heart trusts in Your unfailing love.

Because nothing in this world is bigger than my God,

Because with Him, I don't have to be afraid of what the future holds,

Because His ways and plans are higher than mine.

In Him, I put my trust.

Because He is God.

Be calm, my heart, be calm and know that He is God.

xoxo,elvyna.

There's no need for hide and seek when you've simply stolen my heart.

This could be my new favourite occasion. The prettiest bouquet of flowers ever waiting outside my door (:

Be my Valentine ? (:

xoxo, elvyna.

Hair.

As the title aptly states, this blog post will be about hair. I know, i know I don't normally write things like this but I'm just really bored right now. Anyways, what inspired (if that's what you call it) this post was when I was running my fingers through my hair and my hair got all tangled and stuck and i realized I have alot of split ends and knots. A LOT.

So yea, I need a haircut soon and I was just wondering how I should cut it. Then I decided to look through my archive of photographs of myself at different times of my life to see how my hair has "evolved."

Note to readers: I find some pictures and hairstyles really embarrassing but its all for fun.

WARNING: Excessive laughter may ensue after looking at some pictures below. (at my expense -__-)

TA-DAH! I can't believe I'd ever show these pictures to anybody let alone put it on my blog but this WAS me. A long long time ago. Yes, I did once have a short boyish cut. I don't think I'll ever cut it like this again though. Wait. I KNOW I'll never. :/There was a period of time when I had the typical china doll hair with dark heavy fringe and slightly past shoulder length hair. Not too bad looking on me I think. I could've done better than that expression though. I look so Ju-On (kinda). Btw, my bro looks damn ham sap in this picture i don't know why but it's funny. LOL.And then I had the messy fringe (if that is even called a fringe) with a shoulder length bob cut. Add a cheeky smile to that and it doesn't look too bad :POhmaigoodness. I hate this pic. Really. If there was a worst haircut for a GIRL award, after being bald, this would be it. I look like a boy here. Seriously. I look more BOY than my brother standing next to me. Super fail I have no idea why my parents ever decided to cut my hair like this. o_O

And then I grew up and tried experimenting with a lot of hairstyles/colour/etc..No pics of me in high school. I had long hair which I tied up every single day. Boring stuffs. Couldn't really experiment much with hair in high school anyways, what with the strict rules and them fining people for dyed hair and stuffs :/

This was during college times in HELP. Straightened my hair and dyed it a dark brown. Kinda liked straightened hair but it gets really flat and boring after some time :/Still with straightened hair. I think I straightened my hair twice before if I've not mistaken.And then I got adventurous after college ended and chopped my long straightened hair off for a shoulder length bob and I even bleached a streak of my hair and had it dyed blue (yes, you read it right: BLUE. I might've been borderline LALA. Sad times). And then it faded to purple, and then gold, and then a whitish-greyish colour which was really yuck and I snipped it off. Then my hair grew out again and I didn't do anything to it. The pic above was taken at Disneyland Tokyo and yes, that is a Donald Duck clip I got there for MYR30 because I wanted a souvenir :/ No, I never wore it again after stepping out of Disneyland.And then I decided to cut bangs again when I was in IMU. It didn't work out initially because the stylist cut it too short and I look super CINA but once it grew out it wasn't so bad. And then it started poking my eyes and getting all over my face and sticky when I was at the gym I couldn't stand it. So I decided not to trim it anymore and just let it grow out.

And I haven't done anything to it since, minus the occasional curling and styling for events like the IMU ball and all.. And now in Southampton,

My current hair. Long, but look at how dry it is. And there are like a gazillion split ends. It's not even funny :( Sigh. I need a new haircut but I really don't know what I want. Just a trim? Or chop half of it off? Fringe? Colour? *sigh*

I just hope it doesn't end up disastrous.

xoxo, elvyna.

Because sometimes you can choose family (:

Look what the mailman brought me!

Thanks a lot for this surprise fam! Didn't expect it. You brightened up my day! Love you (:

I miss you so much and those fun times we spent in Penang. Can't wait till I see u again. Hopefully it's soon :(

"Distance means so little when someone means so much." (:

xoxo, elvyna.

Dear Grandma.

First of all, Happy 77th Birthday. I just got off skype with you. I miss you so much my heart aches physically :( There's so much I wanted to say to you, so much to tell you. But I couldn't bring myself to it or else I'd just end up crying so badly.

You mean so much to me and this is the first year I'm not by your side to wish you and give you a hug and a kiss. It doesn't mean I love you any less, in fact, I love you just the same, or more, if that is still possible.You've been the best grandma I could ever ask God for. I thank Him every single day for your presence in my life and if there's anyone I can give credit for for who I am now, it's you. You taught me my first prayer, and I still remember it to this day. You were there whenever I just needed someone to hold me while I cried, and you never once stopped believing in me even when I did myself. You taught me what love means and you've inspired me in every way possible just by living your life, so faithful to God and your family.

So here's to you ma, the strongest person I've ever known, the one who showed me how to find happiness and hope even in the darkest times. I don't think I'll ever be half the woman you are.

I love you.

Somehow these three words cannot compare to what my heart actually needs to say to you. Words are never enough, but it'll suffice.

xoxo, elvyna.

You're the one I choose.

Because every person you meet or cross paths with each day is actually special and have their own stories to tell. If only we'd all take time to listen, cause sometimes, that's all they need.

As doctors (soon to be), sometimes we get so caught up in trying to find a diagnosis and cure for a patient that we neglect the fact that they are humans with feelings as well. Sure, it is important to diagnose and cure, but I think that "curing" them emotionally is important as well.

Today as I was speaking to an elderly patient in the ward, she poured out her fears and concerns to me. She was so fragile, not because of her illness, no, but because she was afraid of not being able to do the things she dreams of doing before she dies. She doesn't want to have any regrets she says. I don't know what expression I was showing at that time, but she reached over, touched and held both my hands in her hands, looked me in the eyes and gave her best attempt at a smile. At that moment, it wasn't just my hands she touched, but my heart too.

There are so many more things I need to learn. And somehow, I think I will learn something new each and every day, from patients, from people who cross paths with me. Feeling so grateful and lucky for this opportunity. Experiencing His blessings in the littlest things everyday. More than enough (:

xoxo, elvyna.

I suck at decision making :(

So today I went to see the BMedSc supervisor I contacted to discuss her project and see if I could do it for my year 4 research. She explained everything to me regarding her project- novel immunotherapy treatment for neuroblastoma. She went on talking about T-cell mediated response and tumour cell antigen stuffs and normally, I wouldn't really understand but thank God I decided to read up a day before meeting her. So she was pretty impressed that I understood what she was saying.

Anyways, I wouldn't want to bore all you guys by explaining the whole concept of the project here since it's all medical terms and stuff, but the gist of it is, it's gonna be purely lab work. Which is what I didn't want as my project. Let me explain: the thing with lab work is that you've got to harvest cell cultures, and when those cell cultures are not grown in optimum conditions, i.e. temperature, solution, nutrients, it dies. And when it dies, you got to start from square one again. Which means it would be a waste of time if that happens. I mean, I'd be lucky if they don't die and then I can carry out the project but she did say that it's not going to be easy and the cells die pretty easily. Neuroblastoma cells anyway :/

So the supervisor was really nice, she asked me to think about it, whether I really wanted to choose this project as my 4th year project because its gonna be 22 weeks long and well, I won't be happy doing something I'm not comfortable doing. BUT thing is, I've wanted to do paediatric oncology for the longest time ever and this is well, sorta like the best opportunity I have to do it.

I really don't know. I have approximately a week and a half to think about it. Maybe it's time not to worry about what I think is best for me, but be still, pray about it and ask God what is it He wants me to do. It's so scary not knowing what the future holds really.

aahh! why do i have to be so human? I got to have faith. I GOT TO.

xoxo, elvyna.